HAPPINESS: Christmas to a childless mother


By Aliker David Martin

God, If I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have” Anonymous

My children are your children

As a child growing up in Africa, the excitement in Christmas was in new clothes, shoes and eating the occasional dish of rice and chicken. Listening to the priest’s sermon today, the statement “Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus” captivated me. In my mind, I imagined, “What does Christmas mean to a childless mother? In my culture, the body of a childless mother, is passed through a broken wall for burial as a sign of bad omen while in America, it looks like a lifestyle. Childlessness causes low self esteem. Many childless mothers bear a great feeling of loss and poor health. Take a look at childlessness as talent. We all cannot have the same talent. I may not have the talent to sing just like someone may not have the ability or intention to have children. If you looked at childlessness as a sign of poor health, many people have been born with disabilities but it has not denied them achieving their life’s goals. In their minds, disability is not inability.

During one of my American fundraising trips, I met a generous childless donor. She told me she was too busy pursuing a career and when she was ready to date it was already late to have children. She says at first it made her very depressed. She later realized her passion and goal in life is to serve children in need. This has brought her a lot of joy and satisfaction.

This Christmas, the birth of Christ could mean the birth of a new passion and goal in your life. Prepare for it by opening your heart to kindness just as you prepare to receive the new-born (Jesus Christ). Olbert Schweitzer says, “The only people happy are those helping others” Therefore, your life’s mission could be different from bearing children. Childlessness should not make you unhappy but eager to find out your life’s purpose. Abraham Lincoln once said, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years. Merry Christmas

 

 

 


HAPPINESS: Can money buy happiness?


By Aliker David Martin

November 25th, 2011

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― 
Dalai Lama XIV

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln

This week, I spent time with a few kids from some of the riches and most affluent families in California. My focus was to find out how different I was compared to them. Suddenly, an idea came in mind; can money buy happiness? Instantly, a friend came in mind. When I met him over a decade ago, he had a small beautiful family. He had enough not to struggle with the basics of life. He had around him friends from all walks of life. Today, he is by any global stands a wealthy man. He spends a lot of time in his business to make more money. He has little time for family and only hangs out with only business friends. Unfortunately, he is less happy. So while I met these folks from some of the riches and most affluent families, I asked my self; can money buy happiness? This is what came to mind.

It depends on how you spend your money. If you spend money buying illegal drugs, in search for sex and alcoholism; your immoral ways will catch-up with you. There is always a price for all our actions. They either reward us or punish us for our conduct.

Secondly, it depends on the kind of person you are. Different people respond differently in the presence of money. You can spend money to buy pleasure and be happy. My friend had greed and spent more time making more money and forgot that its friends and family that brought him happiness.

Finally, it depends on how much money you have relative to the people around you and relative to your experience. Before meeting these folks from affluent families, I felt happy and fine with what I have and who I was but after meeting them I felt different noticing how much I needed and how much I didn’t have.