HAPPINESS: Christmas to a childless mother

By Aliker David Martin

God, If I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have” Anonymous

My children are your children

As a child growing up in Africa, the excitement in Christmas was in new clothes, shoes and eating the occasional dish of rice and chicken. Listening to the priest’s sermon today, the statement “Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus” captivated me. In my mind, I imagined, “What does Christmas mean to a childless mother? In my culture, the body of a childless mother, is passed through a broken wall for burial as a sign of bad omen while in America, it looks like a lifestyle. Childlessness causes low self esteem. Many childless mothers bear a great feeling of loss and poor health. Take a look at childlessness as talent. We all cannot have the same talent. I may not have the talent to sing just like someone may not have the ability or intention to have children. If you looked at childlessness as a sign of poor health, many people have been born with disabilities but it has not denied them achieving their life’s goals. In their minds, disability is not inability.

During one of my American fundraising trips, I met a generous childless donor. She told me she was too busy pursuing a career and when she was ready to date it was already late to have children. She says at first it made her very depressed. She later realized her passion and goal in life is to serve children in need. This has brought her a lot of joy and satisfaction.

This Christmas, the birth of Christ could mean the birth of a new passion and goal in your life. Prepare for it by opening your heart to kindness just as you prepare to receive the new-born (Jesus Christ). Olbert Schweitzer says, “The only people happy are those helping others” Therefore, your life’s mission could be different from bearing children. Childlessness should not make you unhappy but eager to find out your life’s purpose. Abraham Lincoln once said, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years. Merry Christmas





22 comments on “HAPPINESS: Christmas to a childless mother

  1. jojopant says:

    Beautifully written. What a great thought. Thanks for sharing.

  2. baahduodu says:

    Simply a great post…Keep this up man..thanks!


  3. God is Good says:

    Its interesting … when I had been married for some time and I was in my mid to late twenties, I was abused by a man for being without a child … I was called “selfish”, which I found somewhat strange at the time, given that I cannot see how that choice was selfish and how, in the meantime, I felt I could be an encouragement to all the children and parents I came in contact with …

    I have since had children, and I am delighted to be a mum … we had no trouble, but it was assumed we had, because we did not jump straight into parenting after marriage … I believe to raise a child is an amazing priviledge, tough at times, but overall incredibly rewarding and delightful, but so is leading a person to Christ and walking with them to maturity, as is calling out someones destiny and watching them bloom into their destiny, as is watching someone crippled with disease healed … blessings, God is Good

    • gethappy says:

      This is a powerful testimony of the issues I address myself to in the blog post. I am glad you finally found happiness in patience. Merry xmas and a prosperous new year to you and family

  4. Jocelyne says:

    Children are precious in God’s eyes and should be in everyone’s eyes. Great post. I for one think children at any time in life should be counted as a blessing and treated as such.

  5. bench jacken maenner winter
    Thanks a lot for making the effort to explain the terminlogy for the newcomers!

  6. granbee says:

    Wonderfully helpful post here! We can all be each other’s nurturers, regardless of gender or fertility ratings!

  7. Lots of truths to ponder…interesting to see different perspectives…it certainly keeps the focus in the right place…as I think Christ did – he saw the child in each of us…so too we would see so much more in others if we would do the same…blessings and thanks

  8. Ula says:

    Thanks for an insightful post and a Merry Christmas to you too!

  9. Martin, Thanks a lot for sharing this, this just reminds me of what happened before and after our marriage, most people believe in Africa you first have to have children before your marry and after marriage children should come immediately, but your happiness is not what others say but what you have agreed to do with your wife or husband either to remain without children for some time , produce immediately or never. I am happy i found happiness and proved many wrong.

    • gethappy says:

      Apwoyo Omera, I am so proud and feel privileged to have attended your wedding as Master of Ceremony. I am also glad that your family is doing well.Regards to your baby and Madam.Your testimony gives authenticity to the quality of my writing. Thanks so much.

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