HAPPINESS: Stop complaining and focus on the solution

By Aliker David Martin

OCTOBER 20th, 2011

If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.  ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

Stop complaining and focus on the solution

Last year, I had a good conversation with my good friend Paul (not real name). Paul has failed to get a scholarship since 2002 when we completed our undergraduate studies. He had taken to complaining and sour grapping. I asked Paul what he has done differently in his last three applications. He answered, “ I think I am just unlucky, I have been applying to different schools and have since then given up”. I told Paul that’s the real problem. Stop complaining and focus on the solutions.

I remember reading in one of my motivational books that,” the average person complains 70 times a day”. The problem with complaining is that the “victim” gives up and puts more effort in complaining. This is the energy you need to keep creative doing something different every other time.

Today, Paul called to inform me about his success. I could hear from the other side of the telephone, that he was a happy man. I asked him, “How did you make it?” Paul answered,” I stopped thinking of my self as a victim and started looking for a way to solve the problem”. Many times in life, we keep complaining about the unfortunate events in our life and forget that we could do some thing differently about it. Maya Angelou, author and poet once said,” if you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain”. Paul changed his attitude from being a victim to being a victor. If you want to be happy, change your attitude and become a victor.

Focusing on the solution keeps you focused on what is working, so you can stop using your energy to complain and start creating more happiness in your life.



Happiness: The wisdom in 40 yrs in Marriage

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now … I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.