Monthly Archives: January 2012

HAPPINESS: You are better than the Bully


By Aliker David Martin

“Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away.” ― Donna Schoenrock

Stop Bullying

 

As students we have all encountered bullies. Bullying occurs when there is an imbalance of power. This week I came across an article about the “Harvard Girl” by journalist Esmeralda Bermudez of the Los Angeles Times. The article titled, From homelessness to Harvard: graduate sets sight on success featured in the Education Column of Seattle Times in 2009.

The article is about how Khadijah Williams overcame homelessness and bullying to become a graduate of Harvard. Williams moved from one shelter to another and attended twelve schools in twelve years. She lived out on garbage bags among pimps and prostitutes.

In her college essay she referred to being bullied because she was poor, different and read so much. While at school she was the outsider, at the shelter she was equally bullied. “You ain’t college bound” the pimps would bark at her.  Despite all this adversities, she strengthened herself by believing in the power of her test grades more than the perceived power of the pimps and school bullies. Like Tiffany Loren says,” no matter what kind of challenge lies before you, if somebody believes in you and you believe in your dream, it can happen”. Williams believed in her mentors and teachers. She set her sight on success.

In conclusion, believe that you are better than your bullies. Dorothea Brande says, “act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid”. Don’t allow bullies to dominate you.

Related articles

HAPPINESS: Seek Simple Steps to a Spiritual Life


By Aliker David Martin

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle” Albert Einstein

Connecting to the spirit

Before you ignore the idea of spirituality in your pursuit of happiness, take a leap of faith and complete reading my blog post. My intention is to stimulate anxiety in you to explore what those with faith see that you don’t see in a spiritual life. By spirituality it could mean God, higher power, the spirit, Universal source, or nature. My self-conscious spiritual journey began as a child in an elementary boarding school. Apparently, it was a period of war and so many pupils who had witnessed scary scenes were always seeing ghost in their sleep. They would cry out loud so much in the night that even the Matron would get scared. As expected of a missionary school, the chaplain is invited and he teaches us the prayer “ Angle of God”. Looking back as an adult, I realized that we were more scared of uncertainties than the ghost itself. We felt so insecure in our sleep and at school.

Many years after this incidence, I was teaching Christian Religious Education in a high school. Unlike most teachers, after school I would pray with the students before going back home. One day, as I taught about life in the spirit world, a student began to cry. I inquired why she was crying and she told me, her mother will soon be in a theatre for an operation at the hospital and the doctors think she might not make it. Her relatives had visited to prepare her incase her mother didn’t make it. I asked her to join me in prayer after school. I introduced her to having personal moments of reflection on faith. I now consider this meditation. And most importantly, to always attend our choir practice. To make a long story short, her mother survived the operation and she remained strong in her spiritual journey even after high school.

In other words this simple steps in spiritually gave her strength and resilience to cope with the uncertainty in her mother’s life. If you develop a spiritual life, you don’t need to figure out everything or be in control but you live in the flow of life, trusting the underlying benevolence and wisdom of the higher power. And this brings you less stress but a positive outlook on life. That prayer at our elementary school made us less anxious and we looked positively to a night without ghost.

Studies show that those who have a spiritual dimension to their life are happier than those who don’t; they have better marriages and cope better to adversities in their lives. I know some one reading this blog is going through a difficult moment. Take a leap of faith and start your spiritual journey by meditating on your relationship with your spiritual self. Listen to the inner voice in you.

Not only does spirituality give a person strength and resilience, it helps us understand that when you seek to broaden your perspective and try to see life from a spiritual point of view, everything makes a lot more sense. My student took a leap of faith to explore the path of spirituality that she had less travelled and it changed her life.

Conclusively, Teilhard de Chardin a philosopher once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience”. You lose nothing seeking a spiritual life.

Related articles

HAPPINESS: If you can dream it you can achieve it


By Aliker David Martin

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world”. Harriet Tubman

Fearless Dreamers

I have just finished reading a book, No More Nightmares. It’s a book by Beverly Ann Dexter, PhD. She writes on how to overcome nightmares by using planned dream interventions. It occurred to me that the most shocked people about my scholarship at University of San Diego are those who either thought getting an American scholarship by a Ugandan (African) was a broad day nightmare or I was not good enough.

When I was born, my parents named me after Dr. Aliker Martin. He is one of the pioneers to win an American scholarship in my village. He was so outstanding that village mates would stand by the roadside to receive him when he returned from studies. This is what happiness meant to me. I always dreamt of an American scholarship.

According to Ian K. Smith, a New York Times best-selling author of the book The Fat Smash Diet, dreams are the powerful creations of our imagination. They inspire us during times of difficulty and inspire us when we become too complacent. Even when I was hassling in the conflicts in Africa and struggling to find what to eat, I kept dreaming. I believe the happiest people are fearless dreamers. They use their imagination to create hope and possibilities.

I suppose, you are questioning yourself how dreaming brings you happiness. I have learnt that the act of imagining an outcome is enough to change your mood. Every day that I imagined the possibilities of success, my mood relayed a positive attitude on life. Even while I borrowed shirts in school to take pictures, it never stopped me from smiling for the camera.

Conclusively sometimes in life, you can be too close to the trees to see the forest. Mentally remove yourself from that difficult situation through imagination to get a bigger and clearer picture of the future. Believe in the power of imaginations to bring you happiness.

Kreativ Blogger Awards


My new year has started off in the best way imaginable for any blogger.I have been privileged and honored yet again with another award. I must admit, my happiness index is at its super best.When I started blogging, I envisioned making as many people happy as possible.As it turns out, blessed are those who give for they shall receive.I have been overwhelmed with some quality blogging love and dedication of bloggers on my page. I can not love you all enough but commit to the pursuit of other people’s happiness.Most important is to change my writing to actions this year.At this point,let me pay greatest respect and gratitude to Lauren http://lscotthoughts.com/  Lauren to me is one of the most exceptional inspirational poets with great insights on life.Her works reflects the distinguished art of  writing from the heart.Enjoy her life changing poetic writings and short stories by visiting her blogs for inspiration.

If I had not started blogging, I would not have realized my writing talent nor would I ever realize my writing can be appreciated from different continents.This has been possible because of you bloggers.The lesson to every one is “never fail to try but try and fail” Ask yourself if there s a talent you are sitting on and subject it to public test.It could be a jack pot.This joy and happiness is as good as a jack pot to me.Now I am confident I can have a career in writing.Now I can inspire and motivate from the confines of my room.Now I have an Identity, I belong to a wonderful community  of online bloggers who are committed to my happiness in the same way I am dedicated to their happiness.

The rules of this award is that I share ten things about myself. I have previously shared things about myself but because there is more to say about my self than ten things, I will open up more about myself with the hope that it helps you know me better.

  1. I attended a missionary catholic school in Africa where it was against school rules to speak my native language.I would be flogged the number of words I spoke so as never to speak my local language but English and I thought it was normal.
  2. Growing up and studying in conflict in Uganda(Africa), we had to sleep in our schools’ roof ceiling for eighteen months to avoid abduction and conscription to a rug tug rebel movement that trains kids how to kill.Over 20,000 were abducted
  3. The first time I thought I fell in love was with a girl in early high school who spoke English like the “white man” himself. I fell in love with her English because it was a sign of civility and exposure. I guess it was a fantasy and not true love.
  4. The experience of loosing my Dad at 16 yrs was the strongest experience; I learnt to fend for myself in life and develop a thick skin of resilience to hard times and a positive attitude in life. I kept smiling and happy thereafter till to-date.
  5. As a child growing up in Africa, our best game was hunting wild birds and doing the roast to eat. It taught me social skills and character formation to be a people person.I guess I can get along with any one if I have a reason to relate with them.
  6. Another interesting thing about me is I never physically saw a plane that had landed untill I was 30 yrs old on my first flight to America,yet we would run for miles to see military helicopters land at a nearby airfield.Awesome experience
  7. I never learnt how to use a computer till I was 27 years old.I finished my first degree without ever pressing any letter on the key board.Now you can tell we live in different worlds and that’s just six years ago. I came a long way ahahahah lol
  8. The first time I visited Uganda’s only city was to speak as a student leader and the first time to ever get in a plane 5 yrs ago and visit America was to speak for my organization.Now you know why I am glad I learnt to write as a blogger.
  9. Last but not least, I won a full scholarship from the Joan B. kroc School of Peace Studies in San Diego, California for my Masters in Peace and Justice Studies. 
  10. Finally, I am a husband and father to two very handsome boys. Aliker Jermy Miguel(4yrs) and Aliker  Jason Bailey(1yr). Unfortunately, because of my scholarship, I have only had a week to see and relate with my last born Bailey.    

    My Joy

    NOMINATIONS

 There are so many friends on my blog to be nominated,however the rules expect me to nominate only six bloggers.  Now this feels like that kiss on Jesus’ cheek. But because I trust all bloggers play by the rules I will nominate six bloggers to this award in respect to their creativity and dedication to blogging.
Once again,bloggers thanks for always visiting my blog and inspiring me to keep blogging. Lets keep blogging to keep this community that which is mindful of our daily Happiness.Happiness remains a choice, so take the chance and chose to be happy.Best of luck in the week

Candle Lighter Awards


Judy,[http://jayjaysfavorites.wordpress.com/]

I am humbled by your nomination. I have a great passion to inspire and make people happy.There can never be any better way to be rewarded.This is my fourth Award and this means a lot to me as a blogger. As a blogger, all I dream of is write well meaningful blog posts;inspire and motivate readers to be happier and overcome adversities in their lives. This is why I humbly accept this award and the kind gesture of faith in my writing.

RULES

Whenever you see a post or blog that you think brings light to the world, put a copy of this post and give them The Candle Lighter Award. What does the recipient have to do to accept it? Just accept it. They can copy and paste the photo on this post onto their blog. What else do recipients have to do? Nothing. If they think someone else is a Candle Lighter, they can surely give them the award anytime and as often as they want. There is no limit to how many blogs you award The Candle Lighter Award to and no limit to how many times someone can receive it.

❤ Here are my nominees for now that deserve this award, please visit them, you won’t be disappointed!  These nominees have blogs that range from writing, to photography, to cooking, to recovering from a closed-head brain injury.  Check them out and support them!  They are great blogs that bring light into the world!
Friends,may this inspire you to keep your light shinning around the blogging community

HAPPINESS: 5 Secrets to a Happy and Prosperous New Year


By Aliker David Martin

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or things” Albert Einstein

A new year of new opportunities

It is the time of the year when every one is taking stock of their lives. Many are making resolutions while others have given up on making resolutions. According to them, it doesn’t work and it’s not necessary. One of my greatest friends always told me,” subject the mind in a state of free flow and only allow yourself to follow it where it takes you”. Like many of those who have given up on making resolutions, he has settled in a comfort zone. While at university, I also heard a student say, “If a Lizard is to put on a trouser, it must know where to place its tail”. Therefore, if you want to be happy and prosperous in 2012, you need to know what to do. Here are my five suggestions:

What is your potential?

The worst form of disability is the inability to know your potential. Do you ever take time to reflect on your strengths? Every one must have a habit to daily meditate on their strengths and weaknesses. This will stimulate the mind to dream and how to meet the dream. The gap between your dream and your current reality can only be filled through a commitment to maximize your potential.

Ask yourself if you have any goals in 2012

Opportunity is only for those who are  ready. If you don’t have a goal, you can never be meaningfully happy with any achievement. Having a goal gives you focus to grow in an area of your strengths. This is what people celebrate as a happy and prosperous year.

Do you have a time plan to achieve your new year’s goals?

My teacher used to refer to the adage, ”failure to plan is planning to fail”. Achieving your goals is not an automatic thing. Many people have wishes not goals. To develop a wish into a goal, you have to draft a plan on how to achieve the goal. Besides developing a plan, you must make a daily commitment to purposely follow the plan.

Does your environment support your goal plan?

High achievers need to keep an achievers mindset. This also implies you keep the company of those who boost your chances of achieving your goal plan. This reflects the saying, “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. If your dream is to be a CEO of a company, think like one and act like one. Dress up like the CEO of your company.

Are you ready for change?

To achieve a goal is to accept change. The problem is most people want to achieve a goal but not accept change. You cannot eat your cake and have it just like you cannot become a CEO and not change the lifestyle. Many people resist change and this derails them from achieving their goal.

So if you want a happy and prosperous new year, you should identify your potential and set a goal. Place your self in an environment that allows you to achieve your goals and accept change.